The guy who invented jeans was a total genius, don’t you think? So much so that we all think it should be spelt jeanius, ok maybe just me!
The year was 1873 and his name was Jacob W. Davis and he originally created a denim work wear for Cowboys and Miners. Oh, how jeans have evolved since then.. Could you just imagine Cowboys and Miners turning up for work in their super skinny, low rise jeans! Oh Lordy, the builders bum could be called something completely different like the Cowboys crevice 😂. But seriously, how frickin awesome is a really good pair of jeans? A good fitting pair of skinny’s can take you from supermarket to superstar! In fact you could probably do yoga in those bad boys! Soooo obvious, but here’s a few examples of how versatile skinny jeans can be (in case you didn’t already know 😜):
- Skinnies with high tops and a hoody.
- Skinnies with flat pumps and a fine knit sweater.
- Skinnies with a tee and flip flops.
- Skinnies with cute heels and a Camisole.
The list goes on I kid you not!
But wait, there must be more to life than skinny jeans? Yes there is.... there's boyfriend, straight leg, baggy fit, jegging’s (no front pockets), bootcut, flare and kick flare etc. Then we have low rise, mid rise and high rise!
It can be confusing and frustrating trying to find the perfect pair for you. My advice to you is to try on as many styles as you can because you never know what works for your body type until you do. Don’t just try them on, imagine you dropped your chocolate on the floor, you’ve 5 seconds to get it off the floor because..... that’s the rule. Drop, bend, check and if there’s any evidence of a cowboy’s crevice, you can safely ditch those jeans girl! So You’ve found the style now what color do you buy? Do you buy dark wash, light wash, sand blast, black, acid wash, white, faded, vintage, rinse wash, mid wash or distressed? Dark denim pretty much suits everyone and every shape, unlike white which can be very, very unforgiving. I recommend reserving the lighter colors for the warmer months. A sandblast leg can really make your thighs look slimmer, it won’t give you a thigh gap but trust me they are your friend. Still confused? Here’s my take on this, you do you! You wear what makes you feel like a rockstar. Never follow trends just because, follow your heart and if your heart tells you to wear a matching denim ensemble with your significant other like Britney and Justin circa 2001 then so be it!
Now that you’ve decided on your jean color, we need to figure out how plain or distressed your jeans should be. You can never go wrong with plain old denim but how do you know how distressed is too distressed? Well, my rule of thumb here is, if you are wearing just a waistband and a few strings or if you see any of your friends or family displaying any distressed like symptoms such as anxiety, embarrassment, misery, pain, agony or torment then there’s a good chance they are too distressed for society. With the exception of your uncle John who asked you why you couldn’t afford a full pair of jeans, just laugh it off and offer him a beer.
Don’t tell me that jeans make your bum look huge. No no no, you are beautiful, your bum is your bum so love it, love yourself, love your curves, love Jacob W. Davis and Love your jeans 👖